Another funny video shared by the Atlanta home inspector
August 15, 2009 by Bonnie Lelak
Filed under Laughter is the Best Medicine, News & Events
My daughter has this ability to run across some of the funniest videos on YouTube and the one is no exception. Get ready, we laughed until we cried. How on earth folks come up with this stuff I will never know.
Alright, have a a wonderful day and if you or anyone you know is looking for a great home inspector that provides a thorough home inspection report, loaded with digital photos and provided in a timely manner give us a call. Call today to find out about our latest promotion going on. 404-788-2581 It will take you away for a relaxing 3 day stay.
Atlanta home inspectors funny for the day
April 9, 2009 by Bonnie Lelak
Filed under Laughter is the Best Medicine
As an Atlanta home inspector most folks know that I love a good joke, but this one is one that my wife thought was great. As a matter of fact, this is probably something that she would think about doing.
Car Problems
Sandra was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing.
The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as Sandra continued to try getting the car to start up again.
Finally Sandra gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her.
“I can’t seem to get my car started,” Sandra said, smiling.
“Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I’ll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you.”
Received from Thomas Ellsworth from Good Clean Jokes
Need great meal saving tips or marketing tips visit my lovely bride’s website
Retweet this postAtlanta home inspector shares “Shes Got You”
March 3, 2009 by Bonnie Lelak
Filed under Laughter is the Best Medicine
As an Atlanta home inspector we are often looking around for funny things to share with you. This one came directly from my Mom. “Thanks Mom!”
We are proud to offer our new FREE Home Concierge Services where one call does it all, Satellite, Internet, Cable TV, Home Security, and Phone. Call 1-866-594-4871 and provide them with access code 1008126. Call our Free Home Concierge Services to save time, save money and simplify life!
You can also schedule your own home inspection today online.
We create Peace of Mind ONE Home Inspection at a time.
Click Here to find out how you can show people, just like you, how to make money and
save money on their energy bills.”
Retweet this postAtlanta home inspectors “Laughter is the best medicine”
March 2, 2009 by Bonnie Lelak
Filed under Laughter is the Best Medicine
This has been around a while and you may or may not have read it. But I thought it was funny then and I still think it’s funny now.
MISSING HUSBAND
Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him ‘ Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!’ The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Rick has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.
David Lelak is an Atlanta Home Inspector and owner of IHI Home Inspections.He serves Canton, Alpharetta, Roswell, Cumming, Woodstock, Atlanta and all of North Georgia.
We are proud to offer our new FREE Home Concierge Services where one call does it all, Satellite, Internet, Cable TV, Home Security, and Phone. Call 1-866-594-4871 and provide them with access code 1008126. Call our Free Home Concierge Services to save time, save money and simplify life!
You can also schedule your own home inspection today online.
We create Peace of Mind ONE Home Inspection at a time.
Click Here to find out how you can show people,
just like you, how to make money and
save money on their energy bills.”
Retweet this postIn case you need a laugh today! Here it is from the Atlanta home inspector
February 18, 2009 by Bonnie Lelak
Filed under Laughter is the Best Medicine
Atlanta home inspector wanted to share this just in case you need a laugh today!
citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the
muscles. As we grow older, it’s important to keep
mentally alert… If you don’t use it, you lose it!
Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss
of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you’re
losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don’t see
the answers until you’ve made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
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1. What do you put in a toaster?
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Answer: ‘bread.’ If you said ‘toast,’
give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to
Question 2.
2. Say ‘ silk’ five times. Now spell
’silk.’ What do cows drink?
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Answer: Cows drink water. If you said ‘milk,’
don’t attempt the next question. Your brain is
over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with
reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said ‘water’, proceed to question
3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue
house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made
from pink bricks and a black house is made from black
bricks, what is a green house made from?
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Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said
’green bricks,’ why are you still reading these???
If you said ‘glass,’ go on to Question 4.
4. It’s twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at
20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at
the time was politically divided into West Germany and
East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, two engines
fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine
is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure.
Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the
plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of ‘no
man’s land’ between East Germany and West
Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany,
West Germany, or no man’s land’?
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Answer: You don’t bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you’re a dunce and you
must stop. If you said, ‘You don’t bury
survivors’, proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus
from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17
people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the
bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off
and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16
people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five
people get on . In Carmathen, six people get off and three
get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?
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Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don’t you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!
If you’re in need of a few more laughs you can get good clean jokes here!
If you need to schedule a great home inspector for a home inspection schedule it here.
Also take time to to check out our ActiveRain blog. Have a fantastic Day!
Retweet this postAtlanta home inspectors “Laughter is the best medicine”
February 11, 2009 by Bonnie Lelak
Filed under Laughter is the Best Medicine
The following was borrowed from the “Frosty Frogs” monthly newsletter. Talk about a great place to eat, they now have opened their new reastarant which is still located right in the old part of “Hickory Flat” in the Publix shopping center. I love their cotton candy ice cream and I’m going to have to go get some very soon. They serve lunch also, not just ice cream, so stop on by. To visit other businesses in Canton visit the Canton Directory.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
‘Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.’
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his
name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he
knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, ‘Sure. I have this,’ and produces a tiny porcelain elephant,
about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank
manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, ‘There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out
there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants
to use this as collateral.’
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. ‘I mean, what in the world is this?’
(You’re gonna love this!)
The bank manager looks back at her and says…
‘It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man’s a
Rolling Stone.’
(You’re singing it, aren’t you? Yeah, I know you are…….)
Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!
David Lelak of IHI Home Inspections serves Canton, Alpharetta, Roswell, Cumming, Woodstock, Atlanta and all of North Georgia.
We are proud to offer our new FREE Home Concierge Services where one call does it all, Satellite, Internet, Cable TV, Home Security, and Phone. Call 1-866-594-4871 and provide them with access code 1008126. Call our Free Home Concierge Services to save time, save money and simplify life!
You can also schedule your own home inspection today online.
We create Peace of Mind ONE Home Inspection at a time.
Atlanta home inspector shares 3 great reasons not to mess with children.
January 27, 2009 by Bonnie Lelak
Filed under Laughter is the Best Medicine
3 Great reasons not to mess with children!
(1)
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
‘Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor’.’
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, ‘And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.’
(2)
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, ‘Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.’
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
‘Yes,’ the class said.
‘Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn’t run into my feet?’
A little fellow shouted, ‘Cause your feet ain’t empty.’
(3)
‘Take only ONE. God is watching.’
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want.
God is watching the apples.’
Retweet this postLaughter is the best medicine “The Dead Horse”
January 18, 2009 by Bonnie Lelak
Filed under Laughter is the Best Medicine
The Dead Horse
Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day he drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news… the horse died.”
Chuck replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
Chuck said, “Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.”
The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”
Chuck said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”
The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”
Chuck said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?”
Chuck said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.”
The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
Chuck said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”
Chuck grew up and now works for the government. He was the one who figured out how to “bail us out”.
Thanks for stopping by! If you or any one you know is looking for a thorough Atlanta home inspector, then look no further, “I’m your man!” Call me today at 404-788-2581 to schedule your Atlanta home inspection.
Retweet this postAtlanta’s home inspector shares some great Kids Prayers
January 15, 2009 by Bonnie Lelak
Filed under Laughter is the Best Medicine
I get stuff all the time thru email and everything else. I’ve seen this before as I’m sure some of you have, but it was so cute I thought I would share it again. Have a great day! I heard this great speaker this morning and he reminded me “As a man thinketh, so he is!” I chose to think about the postive and laughter is great medicine.
Kids’ Prayers
==============1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter.
There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
2. Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I asked for was a puppy.
I never asked for anything before.
You can look it up.
Joyce
3. Dear Mr. God,
I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come
apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Janet
4. God,
I read the bible.
What does beget mean?
Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison
5. Dear God,
How did you know you were God?
Who told you?
Charlene
6. Dear God,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf
words in the house?
Anita
7. Dear God,
I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the
whole world.
There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
Nancy
8. Dear God,
I like the story about Noah the best of all of them.
You really made up some good ones.
I like walking on water, too.
Glenn
9. Dear God,
My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy.
How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis
10. Dear God,
Do you draw the lines around the countries?
If you don't, who does?
Nathan
11. Dear God,
Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an
accident?
Norma
12. Dear God,
In Bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer
13. Dear God,
How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do
any now?
Billy
14. Dear God,
Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.
Peter
15. Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they
each had their own rooms.
It works out OK with me and my brother.
Larry
16. Dear God,
I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet.
What's up? Don't forget.
Mark
17. Dear God,
My brother told me about how you were born,
but it just doesn't sound right.
What do you say?
Marsha
18. Dear God,
If you watch in church on Sunday,
I will show you my new shoes.
Barbara
19. Dear God,
Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours,
or do you just know him through the business?
Donny
20. Dear God,
I do not think anybody could be a better God than you.
Well, I just want you to know that.
I am not just saying that because you are already God.
Charles
David Lelak of IHI Home Inspections serves Canton, Alpharetta, Roswell, Cumming, Woodstock, Atlanta and all of North Georgia.
We are proud to offer our new FREE Home Concierge Services where one call does it all, Satellite, Internet, Cable TV, Home Security, and Phone. Call 1-866-594-4871 and provide them with access code 1008126. Call our Free Home Concierge Services to save time, save money and simplify life!
You can also schedule your own home inspection today online.
We create Peace of Mind ONE Home Inspection at a time.
Click Here to find out how you can show people,
just like you, how to make money and
save money on their energy bills.”
Retweet this postAtlanta home inspectors “Laughter is the best medicine”
January 14, 2009 by Bonnie Lelak
Filed under Laughter is the Best Medicine
One day, long, long ago……. there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or gripe.
But this was a long time ago…..
and it was just that one day.
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